Times are hard but I am built tough.
This has nothing to do with Japan, or in fact any current events in the world. When I mentioned earlier how I feel like something is ending, I wasn't lying. It's been a while now since I've been feeling that way and it worries me.
I haven't been myself lately. It confuses me, the person I am right now. I'm not sure if this is really me or if I've turned into someone else without even realizing it. Have I really gotten hurt that bad till my soul couldn't recognize my own self anymore? I've been pushing people away because I needed time on my own, to search myself once again. I needed time to think, to lick my wounds, and to heal.
This feels eerily familiar.. sitting in the dark, in a cold room with a particular sweater. Maybe it doesn't mean as much anymore but it is still a lot comforting. I almost can't believe how my life ended up. I don't mean that in a bad way but instead a good way. What puzzles me is how I could be like this one day and another person the next. I've got a lot of personalities, I learned. And I'm okay with that. Just, people should probably expect more than one side of me and not be surprised by my multiple persona. No complaints.
Back to the talk about ending of something.. I still can't figure out what it really is. Could it be the ending of my relationship with a person? Or the ending of an era? Is it the ending of the world, or my very own life? My heart is driving me up the wall. But I'm not frustrated, no. Whatever it is that's coming my way, I have a good feeling about it. Not exactly wonderfully good, but an alright kind of good.
Change is good, no? Maybe this change, whatever it is, will do me good.
