I realized something I've been all these while but never really admitted. Or actually, never really knew. I am ego. Everyone is, but I'm probably worse than some. All my life I've hated egoistic people, people who are too highly ego for my liking yet now I've actually let someone change me into one. Yes, I'm blaming it on someone else. Why? Because for a while I was exposed to people with ego the size of Jupiter yet always disagree with me when I claim that they are.
A girl can only take too much bullshit. In a way, they affected me. I changed. I'm not entirely blaming this on them, but I can say they held a big responsibility over my heart hardening process. They taught me to rise my ego level without even knowing it. Its what I chose, yes, and I'm putting an end to that.
How could I possibly expect people to lower their ego if I'm just as bad as they are? Maybe I can't make these egos retreat but I know I can make a change if I want it bad enough. And I do. I hold strong to my dignity but I'm not gonna let my pride get in the way of what I wanna do or what I wanna say anymore. No more giving things a second thought and I'll just do whatever I like to whoever I want, without the concern of seeming like a loser.
I want my old self back.
