I miss home.
For the past four weeks I've been practically a nomad - always moving in and moving out from houses, sleepless overnights, being labelled homeless. I didn't mind much of course cause thankfully, I have best friends who let me stay over for days and also stay up with me all night when I haven't got a place to stay.
Maybe I should tell you the reason why I've been doing these without giving you the wrong impression, i.e. running away from home or being kicked out from the house. No, none of the ones stated. There's a major renovation going on at home and obviously everything's a huge pile of mess, so I've been excused from home. With my black body bag, school bag and handbag, I've been moving around like a hamster.
And you know what it made me realize? There really is no place like home.
Don't get me wrong, I've been given good enough treatment from everyone during the period of time that I was basically homeless. Still am actually but that title's gonna be disposed soon, real soon. But some days, when I get the time to myself I'd feel a pang of emptiness, and probably a sense of not belonging. Sometimes I talk to mom or my sister on the phone, to catch up or update each other about what's going on and I'd feel the distance. The distance that somehow saddens me and brings me down. Now, I know you probably think I'm overreacting. We're still in the same country, heck, even the same zip code but I guess what I'm trying to say is, I now know how it feels like to be away from home. To study abroad, to live far away from your family, your loved ones.
It's only been what, a month? And I'm already homesick like crazy. I guess this test God gave me was to show me how important family is to us. That at the end of the day, after wild adventures with your friends or whoever, you'd still want to go back crawling to your family. Home, is a word that gives me a tingling feeling. Even the word is able to make me feel all warm inside and secure. Somehow. Because I know that's where my family is under one roof and it's the only place I feel comfortable most. I belong there, and I have the permission to do anything I want without getting any look of disdain or disapproval mutters.
I honestly feel sorry for those who have to be away from home, now that I know how it feels like. It's not an easy thing being apart from your comfort zone. Takes alot of courage, and strength.
But of course, I don't regret anything I did the past few weeks. Like I said I've been up to alot and they were good times. Watched Chelsea play against Malaysia at Bukit Jalil and got grandstand seats, hiked up Broga Hills and waited for the sunrise, mandi-ed sungai, went to Cheer Comp, got to watch 30 Seconds To Mars and Neon Trees play live at MTV World Stage, spent 7 hours in a car one night to look for a birthday girl at the time, shouted penis and pussy louder everytime at a big space of field that echoes, played a game of Whisper at 4 in the morning which was hilarious, swam after midnight in my undies, drove around random places, lied on the floor by the pool and watched the stars and moon, bailed on a date, going to sleep when everyone's getting ready for school.. and plenty others that may not be legit to be mentioned.
I had an epic few weeks, but I also know I now have to get myself back on track. No more missing school, no more sleeping in class and no more procrastinating. It's already the end of July, Ramadhan starts next week and I'm glad. Looking forward to a month of pure sanity and niceness! :)
On a lighter note, I'm going to Bukit Jalil tonight for Malaysia vs Singapore's match, and I'm attending in blue! With my Harimau Malaya button pinned on my chest :D Anyone who's going, get your spirit on. Cheer your loudest for Malaysia with me, I'll be seeing you tonight!
