You used to give me something to write about.
I was always enthusiastic to write. Ideas coming in out of the blue was a regular and doodling on whatever piece of paper I can find was my favourite pastime. But now, it's absolutely different. Have I lost my mojo to write? Am I lacking of inspiration? Could it be a problem of writer's block? I myself have no idea.
I miss having something particular to write about. I guess that was one of the beauty - being in a relationship. Always gave me a reason to pour my feelings in ink, or even on the laptop screen. Whether when I'm head over heels in love and write like life is all sunshine and butterflies, or when my world gets a little stormy which makes me say things as though hell froze over.
I always have these ideas to blog about, that does not involve emotions or anything heavy. You know, like my view on politics, or racism, or perhaps child abuse. It's not as if I am not aware of what's going on in the world, I just never blog about them. I'm more of a writer, not much of a blogger. According to someone at least. But who knows, I might turn that statement around one day.
Not having anything to write about is terribly stale. I hate staring at the screen and being blank as an A4 paper. I hate not rushing to write about what struck me at a random hour. I can still write if I want to but if my heart's not into it then I don't see a reason why I should. I only blog about things that mean something to me, and write what I really meant to say. Because well, I only post what I allow people to see. What I write on papers is another story.
On the other hand, I also miss reading people's writings. The blogs I used to visit seem to have the same problem as me - that or to them blogging was only a trend that is no longer the in thing. Maybe nothing accelerates us anymore. I'd say. Oh how I long for something new, something out of the world, something that exceeds the word cool..
Long peculiar stares, astonished raised eyebrows, curious whispers and obvious peeking. "Hanna, what are you doing? Buat nota Sejarah ke?" Yup, that's what I usually get when I'm writing.
