You're way too young to believe it's not gonna be okay.
A beautiful rainy Sunday, isn't it? I feel so calm, relaxed and content, at the moment. I feel good. Are you feeling the same way too? I hope so. If you're not, then try to feel good about the weather. How the clouds are pouring droplets at the moment and the cold is somehow giving you comfort. You're alone? No problem. Sometimes being alone is the best. Nothing I love more than some alone time now and then. You don't have to worry about a thing, like disappointment for instance. Cause you can't possibly say something that could hurt yourself now would you. Scared that you might look like crap and get frustrated over it? Avoid the mirror, then you wouldn't get so upset on what you see from the given reflection. Turn on those music tunes that gives your mind an instant relaxation. You won't get sued for having a lazy Sunday. Its like, an unwritten human ritual for every week.
I'm listening to a particular song at the moment, and it's been on repeat for the past 20 minutes if not more. I'm not sure why but I feel like apologizing. It's what I've been thinking of doing for quite some time. It might be too late one day and what have I got to lose anyway, correct? I really don't understand people who are too ego. Never been my favourite characteristic. So I guess I should start off here.
Dear whoever-reading-at-the-moment,
I might know you personally or you might just be a random passerby. But if we do know each other, I would like to say to you straight from my heart, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've ever said anything that might have offended you, hurt you, if I have ever disappointed you, been mean to you intentionally or unintentionally. Although honestly, I would never choose to be mean to a person without reasons. I can be a bitch, but only when I choose to. And straight up, I'm not one. I may not have been the best I could be to you, and I apologize for that. Me and you, there's one thing we have in common. We're both humans. Therefore, naturally we both make mistakes. And I wish there was something I could do to fix what was broken. So if there is, please tell. I am more than glad to stitch back the torn pieces we have caused. I hate losing people, and I might have already lost you or even if I still have you in my life yet there are things you're not happy with, then I'd still be glad to make it up to you. I hate knowing I have ruined something. Right now, I have no hatred in me and I've only got love to spread. I hope you would forgive this idiotic, once clueless girl and would like to make everything right again. I might miss you and you wouldn't know it. I might miss the times we had, the things we've said that made each other laugh or think, the hugs or comfort that we had shared. I'm not only talking about boys, if thats what you think. I've lost girl friends too, and alot I constantly think of and absolutely miss. On top of that, I would also like to thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life and for maybe being there for me when I needed you and provided me laughter and happiness. You've been a kind, wonderful person to me and I will never forget you. And I'm not just saying it. I meant every word I said to you, the good ones. And remember that some things I said that might've pissed you off could only be a heat of the moment thing for me. People tend to say things they don't mean when they're mad, you know? I'd take it back if I could. And I'd also bring back the good memories if God would let me.
Cause at the end of the day, being ego gets you nowhere. You'd only lose rather than gaining. And I don't wanna be that person who dies with regret cause I restrained from lowering my ego. What do you say? :) Have a good evening everyone.
