It is officially the last day of 2010. Yes, I can feel the year fading away from me. And I wish there was a way for me to catch it and make the time freeze. It might be weird to you, but I'm terrified. Absolutely terrifies me knowing that this year, it's not coming back. It is the end and there's no possibility for me to relive it. Are you scared? I am. Of the future. Of not knowing and a door to more possibilities and impossibilities. But at the same time, I am thoroughly excited. I feel both anticipated and bewildered at this very moment. Shucks I hate it when my feelings decide to do a little mixing. Now I honestly can't think straight.
Right now, I have no regrets. I look at my purple 2010 calender and I immediately find myself smiling. Cause somehow, that's what I've been doing this past year. I smiled the whole year through. Not all day everyday, but I did more than I cried or frowned. I was.. happy. Really genuinely happy. The last time I blogged about a new year I summarized how 2009 went. And come to think of it, it wasn't any much different than 2010. The losing and gaining, experiencing and experimenting etc part that is. Same story, different people. Yes, I met new people that yet again, made me happy and I did both good things and bad this year that was memorable.
About the people I met, well. That alone needs pages and pages for me to fill out. From strangers to cab drivers, to teachers, to adults, to toddlers, to teenagers, and of course, to boys. A lot somehow made me smile, made me happy and had me surprised. I realize there are a lot of good people out there, and I'm lucky enough that they found their way to me and chose to be really good to me. I'm glad my girls and I, we still sticked with each other after all these time. They're the reason I look forward to school really. Every morning at the canteen we greet each other at the very same table and when school ends there will be goodbye hugs or in fact after school plans. And then there's my tuition girls, which the tuition alone is lucky enough for me to go to ever since I was in form 2. I had the most brilliant time there and to top it off my teachers are the best. Sushi, Ampang Point or buying drinks before class, going to Cueball after class, taking photos and crazy stunts at the tuition centre. It was all insanely fun memories that can never fail to make me smile or laugh to myself. Knowing next year will be my last saddens me. I don't wanna leave Ilmu Studio, or my favourite girls and boys :(
Wow, I never got to finish this post. Its the 15th now and its more than 2 weeks after New Year's. Right now all I wanna state is, I guess its safe to say that I've changed my perception towards a few things. Love, for instance. I've always been that girl who claims love to be the #1 thing in the world, remember? Well I still do. But this time, I believe all I need is love from my family, my best friends and my good mates. Not from a particular guy. These people are the ones who made me happiest most and really, I can't thank them enough. I'm stronger now, stronger than before and I don't need a guy to steal my heart this year.
2011, I'm flying solo.
