I don’t have the perfect record. I have so many haters and I’m disapproved of by people who never even talked to me. Why’s that? Because I have been up to no good, and I don’t have that bright of a past. But that doesn't mean I won’t have a bright future.
I’m not sure if I’m on the right path. If I ever were, in fact. I’ve done things I’m certainly not proud of, and things that “normal” people wouldn’t do. Well that’s the thing; I’m not like the rest. And I can’t be. I have my own view on things and you could easily say I’m open-minded. I accept things no one would and nothing’s ever too weird for me. I like experimenting, I like experiencing. I enjoy taking risks. Maybe the craziest thing I’ve done isn’t setting up a multiracial topless party at the White House but I have been up to pretty crazy stuff. But I don’t do and tell ;) Sure, the things I’ve done got me nowhere good but then again, maybe it did. If I never did it, I wouldn't have taken a lesson out of it. So really, I believe all the things that have happened in the past, happened for a reason.
They say life has been written out by God. So do we blame Him for our dirty acts? No, we can’t and we don’t. But say, if we got busted or some sort, and we get thrown in jail or a girl gets pregnant, surely that was decided by God? I don’t know. I feel wrong questioning this but hey I’m not a cat, curiosity won’t kill me.
I don’t see life the way you do. Its not always rave parties and staying out the whole night with boys I’ve just met. I enjoy alone time, breathtaking sceneries, long walks, star/moon/sky gazing, lying down on bed, listening to songs and replaying memories in my head and smiling to myself. You know, innocent stuff. I find beauty in innocence. I love it best when I’m most relaxed. When I feel weightless. It definitely tops a crazy night out, no lie. Times like these, I feel good. I feel appreciative, and I’m happy with myself.
I thank God endlessly, for providing me such wonderful people in my life. Some have left, yes. But at the end of the day I guess what matters was that at least, they were there. Even just for a while, but I got to have them. I got the chance to know numerous amazing humans before I die. It saddens me that they couldn’t stay in my life, but I have learned to accept reality. People leave you in the end, and they disappoint you too. Always. There’s nothing that could possibly change that and so I just have to live with it. But its fine by me, cause people move on. I’ve moved on. New people are going to come into my life, and while they’re in it, I vow myself to make every last minute memorable.
Because soon when they leave me, at least I know the little time I had with them was worth it.
