Everything Hurts

You know how everybody has that something, or someone that they seek for when they feel like shit? Because that thing or person has the ability to cure or at least lessen the pain and the burden that is being carried? Well, I can't think of anything or anyone that could make me feel better. At least not tonight.

I find it so hard to trust people nowadays. To really open up, to know that I can rely on them. At the end of the day everybody appears to be the same to me. And that sucks because I've never felt so alone before. I feel like I know so many people, surrounded by so many friends, but I'm starting to doubt everyone that it's beginning to sound ridiculous when I think about it. And I'm not even going to blame it on my trust issues because I'm so tired of putting the blame on exes and former friends. I'm even tired of my hormones playing me up. I don't understand why I can't just be content.

I don't know why I'm even complaining. I always keep my feelings bottled up and I expect people to console me. But probably why I do what I've been doing is because so far from my observation I can't see anybody who would know how to not make me feel worse than I've already been feeling. I don't know. This feeling is shit. I wish I at least knew the remedy to this. But I don't.

That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.