A Feeling Beyond Compare

Moments when I enjoy my own company (more than I seem to enjoy the company of others)
Moments when I have self-reassuring pep talks with myself in front of the mirror
Moments when I find myself smiling by the sudden remembrance of a good memory
Moments when I finally learn to accept certain things and naturally feel alright about it in the end
Moments when I listen to a depressing song and not feel sad by it - instead the contrary
Moments when I sigh and realize it wasn't exhaled out of sorrow

Those are some of the moments that I'm proudest and happiest with myself.

I knew I was going to be okay. I always get it together in the end, don't I? I will suffer from more breakdowns and I will go through more processes of healing but that's life for you. To be consistent with one's feelings is truly a blessing, maybe it's just not made for people like me. Or at least not yet. Years from now things will be different and it will all be clearer as for why things happen the way they did once upon a time and I will get the answers to my questions but for now I'm just going through it all.

The heartbreaks, the pain, the tears, the regrets, the joy, the laughter, the craziness,
the youth.