Heyya, so where do I begin?
Maybe an explanation for the visible abrupt change you see on my blog? Well how bout that. It took me four years to get rid of that morbid looking layout and step out of my comfort zone. Cause that's honestly what I was doing, always burying myself in the comfort of the darkness and simplicity it provided me, the familiarity and the fear of change. Ha, that proves my attachment issues.. but does this mean it's been resolved? Fingers crossed.
Maybe an explanation for the visible abrupt change you see on my blog? Well how bout that. It took me four years to get rid of that morbid looking layout and step out of my comfort zone. Cause that's honestly what I was doing, always burying myself in the comfort of the darkness and simplicity it provided me, the familiarity and the fear of change. Ha, that proves my attachment issues.. but does this mean it's been resolved? Fingers crossed.
So it's a Friday night and me having to miss home for two weeks count it as a blessing that I am in my own room now, comfortably seated and well fed, feeling loved and listening to eargasmic indie rock. Man, living on your own is not easy. When you are away from the comforts of home that's when you really realize and learn the hardships of life. And heck I'm only living 20 minutes away from home, can you imagine the ones surviving absolutely on their own across the oceans from their families? I always give those people my utmost respect.
Anyways, what was the point of this post? Ah yes, change. Change is something that we all secretly fear - we know it's good for us, that it could lead to endless possibilities, but we are always reluctant to take that one risk. Why? Because we're comfortable, we accept anything in life as long as it helps us get by. But is that the kind of life worth living? Do we just settle? What if you deserve better and are capable of more but you'll never know it cause you don't constantly remind yourself that the sky is the limit?
What happened to the dreamer in us when we were a kid? The one who believed in superpowers and imagined a future life with much more creativity than we have now? Sure you're a much better drawer now, you can actually outline an iris to the very last detail instead of only drawing stick men and your photography skills impress most instagrammers but do you still daydream about that house you saw on 13 Going On 30? Do you still think you have might have a hidden talent in performing the way you did after you watched School of Rock?
I feel like I was way more optimistic and hopeful when I was younger. And I can hear some of you saying "no shit sherlock," cause really it's the people, the treatment we've been getting and the pain that's changed us all. But then again, it's always easy to put the blame on someone else isn't it? It's like we're always finding excuses to play victim. Why? When people throw you shit, why do we bury ourselves in it instead of wiping it off? Why do we lay there feeling sorry for ourselves when we can very well pull ourselves up with our own two feet? At the end of the day, isn't it only you and yourself against the world? People leave, and when they do, who's gonna have your back?
Pretty sure I told myself the same thing over and over again, but I always allow myself to fall into the same trap. But hey, that's my choice and everyone's got their own, we're all struggling and surviving in this world, just on different matters and handling it in different ways. And as you can probably gather, I am one person who is easily distracted and a conversation with me would mean leading from one topic to another and they might all be irrelevant to one another.
Sigh, I really need to get my shit together.
Well, I intended this post to bring a meaning since my mind was set on a certain idea but since I've gotten offtrack might as well continue on that another day. I'm feeling more like hot chocolate and movie in bed right now. I hope everybody's surrounded by good vibes and are doing things they wouldn't regret the next day. Cheerio!
